HEY GUYS. I'm Ms. Sanders - you can call me Ms. S or Irina for short. I am the guidance counsellor at Northwood Academy of the Arts. Feel free to give me a 'holla any freaking time, 'door's always open, I promise. Live, laugh and love... oh, and don't forget sex.
Her aunt was dead. The one who’d been the first to officially welcome her into the family. The one who’d teased her to death about how ‘twitterpated’ she was over Noah. The one who just a few weeks ago had been goddamn fine. It wasn’t fair, Liv hadn’t gotten to say thank you for everything; for accepting her. She hadn’t gotten to say goodbye. “I never got to s-say goodbye,” She mumbled into her mother’s shoulder, her tears falling fast as she thought about her aunt. It truly wasn’t fair, she was too young. Her mother said uh and Liv raised an eyebrow, sitting up and wiping her eyes. As soon as her mother said her father, she tilted her head for a moment, confused. Mr. Thornton? All of a sudden she remembered, she had a biological dad out there too. The one who’d left, who’d hurt her mother in too many ways to ever be forgiven. “He WHAT?!” She yelled, her brow furrowing as she shook her head. “How does he get off on hurting people, hurting you, and then waltzing back in wanting to see me? Fucking hell, how does he even know I exist? You didn’t until half a year ago!” She ranted, holding her head in her hands frustratedly, her fingers gripping her hair. “Why now? Why all of a fucking sudden? Liv asked somewhat quieter, looking over at her mother slowly.
There was absolutely nothing fair with the whole situation of Irina’s life right now, especially when it came to the death of her sister. Portia. Her older sister. The one who’d always taken her side, taken care of her when she was sick, or just having a bad day. The one person who’d gotten her through the divorce, the cheating, the everything. And now she was gone. How the fuck had all of this happened in just a month? She threw her head back, looking up to the ceiling as she stroked Olivia’s hair, a few tears slipped slowly onto her cheek. “I know, Livy. I know.. nothing’s ever fair.” With that, her face distorted itself into more of a cringe, and she looked away from her daughter, not wanting her to watch her break down. Life never worked out in her favour, she’d learned that a long time ago. But this… this she had never expected. She turned back to face Liv just as she lashed out. Irina had no idea what to say. At least she wasn’t begging to let her see him. But this was worse. She was pissed off, and Iri knew that the only reason for this was because deep down inside, she was hurt. Her father, Irina’s ex-husband and only ever love, had hurt her so badly that she was angry to hear that he’d come back for her. “I don’t know how he knows, love. All I know is that he stormed into my house, begging to see you. And… and I said no. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t even stand looking him in the eye, let alone see you, the most important thing in my life.” She pulled her daughter closer. “I won’t ever let him touch you, I promise. I’ll give my life if that’s what it takes. But that-that monster, will never lay his eyes on you. I won’t allow for it.” She shook her head aggressively. This was all way too much.
Somehow, her mother was different. Her face, the way she smiled seemed almost forced as if there was something burdening her. Liv couldn’t tell what it was, or how serious it was, but she instinctively knew something was wrong. Not knowing what to do, she sighed contentedly and hugged her mother closer, smiling weakly. She’d missed her. Once her smile disapeared, she sat up wondering what she said wrong. “Mom, what happened?” She asked quietly, her brow furrowed. At her mother’s disclaimer, she bit her lip and braced herself for whatever her mother would tell her. “Okay, tell me…” She trailed off, seeing her mother fight for composure. Three words. Her aunt had died. No. It wasn’t possible, Liv had just seen her a few weeks ago over spring break. She’d been doing better; healthier. What had happened? It had to be a mistake. Liv felt her eyes welling up with tears as she covered her mouth with her hand. Tears filled her eyes and slowly made their way down her cheeks as she shook her head. “N-no, it was only….how long? Why didn’t you tell me?” She barely managed to whisper, wrapping her arms around her mother almost protectively as she cried silently. She allowed herself to fall apart a little as she held her mother. But then she remembered her mother had two things to tell her and she sat up, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “Momma, w-what was the second thing?” She asked slowly and tentatively, tilting her head to the side.
Irina took a long, heaving sigh, holding Olivia as tight as she could, her cheek against her daughter’s forehead. She sat there for a few minutes, the tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. She had no words. Finally, she lifted her head, wiped her cheeks and reached down to wipe Olivia’s. The last thing she’s ever wanted to do today was make her daughter cry, but it seemed as though, with the news she had, there was no way not to, knowing that Liv got her vulnerability from no one other than herself. “I know, babe, I know. It happened just two weeks ago, sh-she.. one moment she seemed fine and the next, we were in the hospital. And then.. ” Her voice trailed. She couldn’t even bare to say the word death. She then looked away when her daughter asked about Matt. Oh my God, why did she have to bring both of them up in the same conversation? “Uh.” This wouldn’t go well, she could feel it. “Livy. Your dad came to visit me last week. He was, uh.. he asked to see you.” And that was all she could manage to say.
this would be him.
EXACTLY who I had in mind!
I think it’s time to go back to that Hannah.
Hey! I worked really hard to help you get to the new Hannah, babe. Don’t do this to me!
Hello, Ms Sanders! I see that you’re back on campus, you’ve been missed. I’d definitely like to have a chat with you sometime soon, if that’s okay. I’ve got some um, things…that I need to talk over with an adult.
Lacey baby! Of course! I’ll sign your name for tomorrow, meaning Tuesday will be your day! Stop by anytime tomorrow, we’ll talk about everything I’ve missed, okay?
(Source: msirinasanders)
Hello i’m Amelia! I just thought i’d introduce myself
Ah, hello darling! Great to meet you, and I can’t wait to help with anything you need.
(Source: msirinasanders)
It would be my utmost honour and pleasure to meet each and every one of you. I’ve decided to give everyone a half hour slot per week to talk to me about anything you’d like! I’ll be posting a list with your days. So please, come see me in my office or apartment! The door’s always open, my loves.
Sitting on her moms couch, Liv sat and prayed silently; thanking god for her mom. Did she believe in god? No not really. But she thanked whoever was responsible for bringing her mom back precisely at the time Liv needed her most. Not seeing her for so long after spring break had been killing her, and what she needed was to be held and to let everything out. Her mother was the only adult in her life, and she was who Liv leaned on. Who she knew would know what to say or do. Once her mom came in and jumped on her, Liv couldn’t help but smile as she wrapped her arms around her mom. “I missed you so much,” She exclaimed, burying her head in her mother’s shoulder. At that moment, Liv felt safe and protected. Her mom was there now; she could help. Liv didn’t have to act strong or put together; she could act like the scared little girl she was, in reality. Snuggling in next to her mom, she refused to let go of her; her arms wound around her waist as her head rested on her shoulder. It felt so good to have her mom back. “Now why the sudden return? Is everything okay? Are you okay? You seem really pale?” Liv fired off questions like a firing squad and only stopped because her chest tightened and she coughed a few times into her elbow.
Irina couldn’t help but sigh deeply in relief. Just looking into Olivia’s eyes felt like the entire planet earth had been lifted off of her shoulders. She so longed to be able to go back to Liv’s age, relive it all. Not the having a baby part, but basically everything else. She wanted to go back to the time when she thought she had everything figured out. She laughed out loud at the bombarding of questions that came next. Her smile disappeared, however, when her daughter asked her if she was ‘okay’. To be honest, the word okay didn’t seem to exist in Irina’s life anymore. And it hadn’t for too many years to count. But with the addition of her sister’s death and ex-husband coming back, okay was the last thing she could call herself. She turned her head away from Olivia, swallowing hard. “Uh. Yeah, I mean, I’m fine. But uh, there’s something I haven’t told you. Well, two things really. And I know you’re going to freak out, and I know you’ll hate me from hiding them from you.” She was ranting now. She had no idea how to break the news. She knew it was way too soon; they’d literally just met again. But, she figured, she had to get it over with someday. “Porsche died, Liv.” She immediately felt her eyes water. It had happened two weeks ago, and she still hadn’t had the time to deal with it. She had been too busy taking care of her mother and two other sisters. Looking back to her daughter, a silent tear fell onto her cheek, and she didn’t bother wiping it away.
Her mom was back. The one person, even more then Noah or Anna, who knew her best was back and she could finally walk to her mother’s apartment and cry and vent and just feel….loved. In a way that was unconditional. Liv hadn’t seen her mother since spring break and now that she was back, she was ready to go and be reunited with her mother. Kissing Noah didn’t feel like a mistake, but now she had to deal with the consequences involving Annabel and that was killing her inside. She was barely an adult, she didn’t have anything figured out and all she wanted was to be happy and not hurt anyone. She blew that. Slipping on leggings and a hoodie, she winced as her chest tightened. By now, that feeling was familiar, along with the lightheaded feeling and dizziness. It happened every time without fail after she went for a run without eating. She’d push herself too hard and pay for it the minute she stopped to take a breath. Shaking off the dizzy feeling, she shoved her hair into a ponytail and walked quickly over to where her mother resided. Not bothering to know, she walked in and kicked her shoes off, flopping on the couch. “Momma!” She called out, chewing her lip.
Irina was back. She had no idea how or why, but she was back, and the only thing she wanted to do was see Liv. Her daughter, the daughter she hadn’t seen in two months. Crazy to think that, this time only a year ago, she had no clue who Olivia was, let alone the fact that she was the baby she’d given up at sixteen. They’d had more than their fair share of obstacles to overcome in the past nine months, but none of that mattered now. She was back at Northwood, and she needed to see her. So much had happened in the last two months, she didn’t even know where to start. Her sister, Portia, had died. Just two weeks ago, and although she so badly wanted to, she couldn’t bring herself to call Liv. She knew it would just break her heart, so she still hadn’t told her. Last week had been one of the toughest weeks of her life, and she’d needed her daughter. Also, Matt, her ex-husband and Liv’s father, had visited her at her home in New York, asking to meet Liv. She had flat out refused, of course, but she feared Liv’s reaction to the news. Now, she was back in her apartment on campus, just having finished a catch-up meeting with the headmistress. Sitting at the kitchen table, she was dressed in her leggings and oversized NWA sweater, cup of tea in hand. Finally, she heard the door blast open and the comforting voice that could belong to no one but her daughter. She jumped up and ran into the living room, jumping on top of Olivia as she hugged and squeezed her what seemed to death. “Oh, oh… you have no fucking idea how amazing it is to see you. You really don’t.”
